I fit every criteria: I'm white, and I'm an obnoxious hipster who always needs to prove how in touch with trends I am. If the trends are new, then they must of course be obscure, but if the trends are old, they must truly fall out of line with how people might perceive my whiteness or nerdiness. I need everyone to know what a hip son-of-a-bitch I am. And a love of Prince's music really should fit that bill! But I'm telling you guys, no matter how hard I try to shake my hips while keeping my hands firmly pressed to my sides as I listen to the high-pitched crooning on "Kiss," I just can't do it.
